tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-13464447.post114434115546014530..comments2023-10-09T09:04:10.681-07:00Comments on See Ya On The Net: Calling On The LordLaShaundahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02882241010643308240noreply@blogger.comBlogger2125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-13464447.post-1144441398732537102006-04-07T13:23:00.000-07:002006-04-07T13:23:00.000-07:00I've been there. My mother has had MS since I was...I've been there. My mother has had MS since I was 3 years old and been wheelchair bound since I was about 11. (I'm now 43.) Mom is now 84 years old and in a nursing home, a very hard decision since in my youth I promised I would never let that happen. But we mature and sometimes have to make tough decisions. <BR/><BR/>I cared for my mother in her home for over three years, going over each AM to bathe and dress her after getting my son off to school and before I went to work. I went over on weekends to give her a full tub bath, shampoo her hair, cut her nails, and otherwise pamper her. I frequently went by in the evenings to fix her meals or just keep her company (occasionally my brother helped with this part). All the while taking care of my own family and working a full-time job with a daily 90 minute commute.<BR/><BR/>Things came to a head when I was 6 months into a difficult pregnant with my middle son and getting calls in the middle of the night that Mom had fallen out of bed, requiring me to go over and try to get her back into bed or wait with her for the volunteer EMTs to arrive. I couldn't handle it anymore and it was clear that she needed more assistance than I could give her just dropping in and out during the day. <BR/><BR/>I cried, listened to wise counsel from my husband (who is also my pastor) and my aunt, and then I placed Mom in a nice home. I still get morose about it, especially now that I've moved to another state and see her less frequently. Truthfully, part of me feels as though I abandoned her although she tells me she's happy for me. Although 1600 miles away, I am somehow still am viewed as the primary resource (of her three children) even though my brother is right there and I'm the youngest.<BR/><BR/>Spend time with your mother. Do what you can for her to help her be comfortable and at peace -- she may not be able to thank you but I believe that she'll know and appreciate it deep within. Accept help, even if the help is just to give you a breather in your own life. If your church has a visitation ministry, get Mom on the list, even if she doesn't know the individuals personally. And most of all pray and trust God for peace.<BR/><BR/>I've seen some good websites but don't know of any particular books either. Here are some of the websites:<BR/>http://www.nfcacares.org<BR/>http://www.care-givers.com<BR/>http://www.caregiver.org<BR/>http://www.nlm.nih.gov/medlineplus/caregivers.html<BR/><BR/>My prayers are with you. <BR/><BR/>Patricia W.PatriciaWhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/04572087157439187319noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-13464447.post-1144363154269373472006-04-06T15:39:00.000-07:002006-04-06T15:39:00.000-07:00Just be there for your mother. Hold her hand, tal...Just be there for your mother. Hold her hand, talk to her, stroke her hair. Pray for her constantly and know that God has it all under control. <BR/><BR/>My mother lived with my sister for 7 years and was at my house everyday. She died as you have read from the excerpt I sent you. It was not easy at all, but it was a pleasure to have had the opportunity to be a part of her care. It seemed like it would be an eternity, but God puts no more on you than you can bear. There is a great blessing in caring for your parent. It is part of the commandment, "Honor thy father and thy mother....."<BR/><BR/>Mary Wilson<BR/>Author of Colorless SoulAnonymousnoreply@blogger.com