I Love My Hair

One of the first lessons I learned when I went natural was that I knew nothing about my hair.  I had to learn to love my hair for what it was and not what I wanted it be.  This was a hard lesson because there were so many products out there promising to turn my hair into my every dreams.  Unfortunately it can be an expensive lesson if you don’t learn it early.

I had to learn to love my hair for who it is.  This is my hair, not my sisters, not my best friend, not the lady in the hair video. 

Don’t try to make it into someone else’s hair. 

It will never happen and you’ll spend too much on products that don’t work on your hair. 

Learn your hair instead and you’ll fall in love with what God placed on top of your head.  I learned to listen to what my hair needed and what it didn’t like.  It took time, but I believe we are now on good terms.

My suggestion to you if you’re on this natural hair journey,  ask yourself these questions:

What type of hair do you have?

What does your hair need?

What does your hair like?

What does your hair dislike?

What is your hair like in different seasons?

How much time do you want to spend on your hair?

When you know the answers to these questions you are on your way to having hair you love.

Do you love your hair?

Challenges

I’ve decided to start the New Year with two challenges, an exercise challenge and a personal challenge.  I decided to do both because I wanted to change some of my habits this year.  I needed a little exercise in my life and I thought the squat challenge would be the way to start without feeling overwhelmed.

As you know 2012 was a rough year for me so I signed up for the Starting Over Challenge to see if I could get my mind back on track.  I didn’t know what to expect from this challenge, but I was willing to learn.

We had our first phone call and I realized I was starting on a new journey with this challenge.  One of our assignments was to write out a statement.

I want to lose ----- to gain ----

I didn’t do the assignment because I didn’t know what I wanted to lose or gain.  As I read over the groups posts I realized I wasn’t ready to face what I wanted to lose or gain.  For every other post, someone was ready to lose FEAR.  You know my history with that word.  I wasn’t ready to admit that was my issue too.

After the call, I was ready to admit, that I’d let that word creep back into my soul last year.  It popped up when I received the yes for my historical.  It slowly took over me as I read over the story.  You’re not ready it kept whispering to me.  No one will like this story.  No one will buy this book.  I slowly let the words, stop me from moving forward.  I didn’t want to admit to myself that I was scared, instead I told myself the book wasn’t ready.  I missed my own deadline and almost convinced myself that I wasn’t going to submit it.  Thank God for writing friends, who refuse to let me wallow in my fear.  They kept questioning me on my progress.  I didn’t want to say I wasn’t doing anything, so I kept pressing pass the fear.  I finally submitted it to a reader and I beat the fear.

This morning I decided I was ready to admit what I was ready to lose.

I want to lose FEAR to gain SUCCESS IN WHAT EVER I WANT TO ACHIEVE.

I’m ready for the New Year and these new challenges.  I’m also ready to move pass my fear.  I know it will always pop up in my life, but I also know it is a symptom, that I have to learn how to treat.

What new challenges are you trying this year?

Squat Challenge

If you want to join me in the challenge

COVER AUTHOR: Rochelle Alers

Rochelle Alers has been hailed by readers and booksellers alike as one of today’s most prolific and popular African American authors of romance and women’s fiction.

With seventy titles and nearly two million copies of her novels in print, Ms. Alers is a regular on the Waldenbooks, Borders and Essence bestseller lists, regularly chosen by Black Expressions Book Club, and has been the recipient of numerous awards, including the Emma Award, Vivian Stephens Award for Excellence in Romance Writing, the Romantic Times Career Achievement Award and the Zora Neale Hurston Literary Award.

She is a member of Zeta Phi Beta Sorority, Inc., Iota Theta Zeta Chapter and her interests include gourmet cooking and traveling.

A full-time writer, Ms. Alers lives in a charming hamlet on Long Island.

Sometimes love can take you by surprise ...

Kara Newell has a big-city life that needs a major shake-up. Her dedication as a social worker is unwavering, yet her heart tells her that there is more to life than just work. Kara gets the push she needs when she shockingly inherits a large estate on an island off the South Carolina coast. Now the charming town of Angels Landing awaits her . . . along with a secret family she never knew she had.

After surviving war, loss, and heartbreak, ex-marine Jeffrey Hamilton takes his position as sheriff of idyllic Cavanaugh Island very seriously. So he is the perfect person to watch over the beautiful, confident woman who has turned her new family's expectations upside down-and stepped into the crosshairs of angry local residents.

But soon Kara becomes more than just a job to him, and he begins to need her in ways he never expected. As Kara and Jeffrey confront the town gossips together, they'll learn to face their fears and forgive their pasts in order to find a future filled with happiness in Angels Landing.

READ ROCHELLE's INTERVIEW in the SEP/OCT issue of SORMAG Digital

CLICK LINK TO READ

http://www.magcloud.com/browse/issue/456931

Some browsers have problems so try this one if you do -

http://issuu.com/sormag/docs/sormag

SORMAG's Readers Choice Award 2012 Winners

Thank you for taking the time to vote.  Here are our 2012 winners.

 

 

Featured Author Of The Year Featured on SORMAG

Naomi Chase

Romance Author Of The Year Featured on SORMAG

Naomi Chase

Fiction Author Of The Year Featured on SORMAG

Keith Thomas Walker

Non-Fiction Author Of The Year Featured on SORMAG

Danyelle Scroggins

Children Author Of The Year Featured on SORMAG

Gwendolyn Hooks

Young Adult Author Of The Year Featured on SORMAG

Shanisha Dodson

Christian Author Of The Year Featured on SORMAG

Leslie Sherrod

Debut Author Of The Year Featured on SORMAG

Regena Bryant

Featured Blog Tour On SORMAG

Money Can't Buy Love by Connie Briscoe Tour

Time To Vote For SORMAG's Reader's Choice Awards

Voting for the SORMAG's Reader's Choice Awards is open.

Voting will close November 7th.  12 a.m. central time

SORMAG's Reader Choice Nominations are the top viewed posts featured on SORMAG.

The winners are selected by SORMAG reader's votes.

1. Featured Author Of The Year Featured on SORMAG

Angeline Bishop
Jacqueline J. Holness
Chanta Rand
Naomi Chase

2. Romance Author Of The Year Featured on SORMAG


Chanta Rand
Angeline Bishop
Nicole Green
Naomi Chase

3. Fiction Author Of The Year Featured on SORMAG


Nakia R. Laushaul
Kieth Thomas Walker
Rosyln McMillian
Tamika Newhouse

4. Non-Fiction Author Of The Year Featured on SORMAG


Sherman Turner
Jacqueline J. Holness
Danyelle Scroggins

5. Children Author Of The Year Featured on SORMAG


Sandra Ardoin
Tony Lindsay
Gwendolyn Hooks

6. Young Adult Author Of The Year Featured on SORMAG


Vicky Alvear Shecter
K. Dawn Byrd
Shanisha Dodson
Precarious Yates

7. Christian Author Of The Year Featured on SORMAG


Mimi Jefferson
Sonnie Beverly
Leslie Sherrod
Lynn Hernas

8. Debut Author Of The Year Featured on SORMAG


Ruthie Robinson
Regena Bryant

9. Featured Blog Tour On SORMAG


Money Can't Buy Love by Connie Briscoe Tour
Master of Disguises byJames Benjamin Blog Tour
If You Love Me By Claudia Moss Tour

CLICK TO VOTE

How To Finish The NANO From A Person Who Didn't

Last year I participated in the NANO. I didn’t make the 50,000 goal, but I did write 35,000 words, which I was very proud of and I learned a lot about me and my writing habit. My friend Patricia Woodside is blogging about how to be successful in NANO. She has some great tips, check them out HERE

I thought I’d offer a few tips too.

Have a realistic goal

Don't set yourself up for failure before you can begin. Set a goal you can write daily and sit down and write.

Be prepared

Before you begin, do your homework. Write your outlines, plot your story out. This will help you as you work though the book. You can write from the seat of your pants, but it's nice to see the path you want to go. As a panser, I was glad I'd taken a plotting course before starting the NANO. I was able to see where I wanted to take the story and I found it easier for me to sit down each day and write.

Find your time to write

If you don't have a writing schedule, create one. I don't write everyday so it was a challenge for me to sit down and write every day. I found I did my best writing at certain times of the day. I took advantage of those times and I wrote.

Life can step in on your goal

During the NANO I had a family emergency that threw my mind for a loop. I honestly didn't want to write on some days, but I forced myself to keep writing. Be prepared for those days you don’t feel like writing. If you can write passed your daily goal, write because you will have some words stored up if life steps in.

Have a support team

Some days I wrote because my team was working towards their goals and I didn’t want to let them down. On those days I was in a funk, that team was there to encourage me and not let me wallow in my pity.

Write with no editing

Don’t worry about how your writing sounds, write. You will have plenty of time to go over your work to see if it makes sense later. Write and write some more.

Don’t beat yourself up if you don’t make the final goal

I was kind of sad that I didn't reach the 50,000 goal. However I didn't beat myself up over it. I reminded myself how proud I was for writing the 35,000 words. The whole reason for doing NANO is to get you writing and completing a book. If you have 25,000 words that’s better than 200 words. Each word brings you closer to a finished book.

I think the NANO is a great way to schedule yourself to write every day. I learned I could do it if I have to. Even though I had a few personal issues, I tried to work through them. I hope this tips are helpful for you.

Writing is hard job, but it’s one I enjoy and I look forward to participating in my next NANO.

Will you be participating in the NANO this year?

Keeping Appointments

I’m pretty good at keeping my appointments with others.  I know how important time is to others so I try my best to make my appointments.

However I don’t keep them with myself.  I’ve been trying to make time to write so I can finish this book and submit it.  I find myself doing other things.  Too tired to read or think.

A writer friend, Shelia Goss told me to make an appointment with myself.  I giggled to myself.  I do that all the time.  I even went so far as to create an alarm on my phone.  It wasn’t helping though because I was ignoring it.  I put something else in place of it.

Sunday I made an appointment with myself to write.  This time I showed up on time and I stayed longer than I’d set the appointment for.  I wrote and it felt good.

What did I learn from this? To keep my own appointment.  I’m important and so is my time.  Appointments are important if you want to complete a goal.  I have a big goal to submit this book by the end of September. I will keep my goal and I will continue to keep my appointments to me.

How are you at keeping appointments for yourself?

Are You Excited About Your Writing?

I love working with Independent Authors.  They are so excited about their new book it's contagious.  They have this vision on where their book is headed and there is no stopping them on the Buy My Book Train.

When I talk to them it makes me more excited about my own writing.  I’m inspired to keep on pushing because I know from their example there is an end to this madness.  One day there will be a published book.

Here are three ways to get excited about your book?

Write often – When you’re writing about your characters on a daily basis you get excited to see what adventure they are going to take you on.

Talk about your story – When you tell people about your story, your enthusiasm flows through. You’re telling someone about what you’ve created and it gets the excitement bubbling inside again.

Believe In your book - Independent Authors knows their book is going to be the next best seller.  There is nothing you can say or do to change their minds.  You can feel their excitement as they share how they are going to reach every book buyer in the world.  They believe in their book.  Do you believe in your book?  Do you see your book on the shelves? 

When I first started writing, I would go to the book store and find the spot where my book would be.  Back then it was under the Cs for Carruth.  Now I’m a little further down in the Hs.  I still can picture it because I believe in my book.

Are you excited about your writing or you in a slump wondering why do you do this to yourself everyday and for what?

Finding Time To Write

You all know I’ve been going through some storms, lost my mother last year, my sister in July and my cousin this month. It’s been rough but I’ve been trying to deal with my grief and not let it consume me.

Finding the time to write when you’re in a funk is not easy. I’m not a morning person however I’ve been getting up an hour before work to work on my SORMAG stuff. It actually worked out well for me because no kids means silence. I can get what I need done quickly and then be ready for work. I usually write for two hours in the evening then go to bed.

That has all changed because school is back in. This year I have a high schooler, a seventh grader and a kindergartner. My hour earlier goes to my high schooler because she has to be at the bus stop by 6. I’ve been trying getting up at 5 to do what I need to do and it’s been crazy because she’s up and asking questions, wanting breakfast and I’m not being very productive.

I’m getting the SORMAG stuff done, but my writing is suffering. Getting up this early means I’m exhausted doing all my mother things after work. By nine my mind is fried. I’m not writing. All I want to do is crawl in the bed and not move.

I have to figure out something because I can’t finish revising this story is my mind is fried. I plan on working this weekend to get some writing done. I try not to write on the weekend because those are my free days to hang with the family and do my chores.

However I see I’m going to have to sacrifice that time and my sleep if I want to complete the revision and meet my September deadline.

Writing and real life can be tough at times. Sometime you have to make sacrifices but I do believe in the end it will be worth it to see my name on the book cover.

How do you make time to write when life is pulling you all over?

Can I help you create an online marketing plan?

I know marketing can be a pain in the butt.

I’m here to ease a little of your pain.

Let me create an online marketing plan tailored just for you.

I will give you ten things to do each month to take the guess work out of how to promote your book online.

I will make it fun and all you have to do is execute the plan.

Does this sound like something you would like to do?

Contact me at writerlch@yahoo.com for my rates.

I look forward to working with you.

LaShaunda C. Hoffman

The Next Grief - Part 5

On July 6th my second oldest sister was hit by a car and died. I couldn’t believe it. I was back where I was a year ago in the grips of grief. This time I told myself I was not going to let the pain engulf me. I numbed myself to it. I don’t recommend this because it just builds up for a crash.

I crashed the next day after the funeral, my whole being felt like someone had run me over.

It’s better to grieve than to try to not to. I had experienced that type of pain of losing someone and I didn’t want to feel it again. However with grief you don’t have a choice. The pain is there and it’s not going to go away.

I did learn that I can get through the pain, so that helped a lot knowing the days will get better. Yes I will miss my sister and I will cry some days and somedays I will wonder how I will make it with out her. This time I know I can. I can get up everyday and thank God for another day. I can thank him for having a sister and I can thank him for the time we shared together. I know her spirit lives on in us, her children and her grandchildren.

I don’t think I would be able to be at peace with her death if I hadn’t experienced my mother’s death last year. Those 365 days helped heal me, mold me to be a compassionate person and show me that I’m a lot stronger than I thought. Even though my mother and sister are no longer here with me, the love I had for them will forever live in my heart.

Grief is a longtime learning experience. Each day you learn something new.

I did a series on grief. If you’re going through it right now please read. I hope it gives you some comfort.

http://lashaunda.blogspot.com/2012/02/dealing-with-grief.html

ME JOURNEY - I failed the T.V. Fast

For the month of June I vowed to give up t.v. during the week. I thought I’d tape my shows and watch on the weekend. I also thought since this is the summer only reruns would be on. I could handle no t.v. during the week.

I made it past the first week. The second week kicked my butt. Too many new shows came on and a few of my favorites started their new season. What was I thinking? I’m so addicted to the t.v.

I have two more books to read as an award judge, so I’m focusing on them and I am editing my YA book, SORMAG work never ends, which means I’m working on my summer goals. I refuse to not make them because I can’t leave the t.v. alone.

Drop Dead Diva, Jane by Design, Single Ladies, Master Chef, Tia and Tamera, and the new Dallas have me glued to the t.v. screen this summer.

What are you watching this summer?

It’s My Anniversary

Twenty years ago, I had my first day at my job. I honestly thought I’d be here for a year and then move out to California and write for the soap operas. Yes I was a naive 25 year old of grand dreams of being a writer.

Fast forward to now and I will say that I don’t have any regrets of staying in St. Louis and working here. If you’re going to have a job you work at for 20 years, this is the job to be at. I have wonderful co-workers and we have become a family.

Now I dream of retirement, however I’m not old enough to retire so that’s a few years away. I’m OK with that because I know this job is always an adventure. I look forward to the next twenty years.

THE BUSINESS JOURNEY: Networking Tips from LaShanda Henry

When networking online or off line ask yourself these questions:

Why am I here?

What can I share?

Who do I want to meet?

Are you hoping to share your solutions and areas of expertise with others in need?

10 Things Learned At Romance Slam Jam 2012 - Part 2

6. Give out business cards and get their business card

Most of the people I met were readers, so I didn’t take my own advice and have them sign my notebook. However I did give out a lot of business cards and asked for theirs in return. I know next time, that I will carry a journal with me so I can capture more names and emails. Don’t forget when you return home to put those names into your mailing list.

7. Sit at different tables 

I will admit I learned this little tip when I did Mary Kay. Mary Kay said to meet people you have to get out of your comfort zone and sit with people you don’t know, not with who you know. You never meet people that way.

Every day I sat at a different table. I tried to meet everyone that was at the conference. I enjoyed the conversations I had with the different people I met.

8. Get out your comfort zone 

I do a lot of things online, so most of my interaction is through the internet. It’s easy to hide behind the computer sometimes, so this year I decided I would do more face to face workshops to get out of my comfort zone. When I was asked to present a workshop at Slam, I was a nervous wreck, but I moved passed the fear and decided to accept the position.

When I stepped into the room, I prayed and calmness came over me. I knew the Lord was guiding my tongue and everything would be fine.

9. Be prepared for changes 

I woke at 4 in the morning thinking what if my workshop is filled with writers instead of readers. I know promotion, so this would be their chance to ask me questions. Instead of going back to sleep I got up and wrote down some notes, just in case my audience changed.

Thank God I did, because my audience wanted to know about promotion. We talked about promotion and I was ready.

10. Have fun 

This past year has been HELL, so I was in dire need of some fun. I knew the Slam would provide fun and more fun. I can’t remember the last time I laughed so much. I enjoyed reconnecting with old friends and meeting new ones.

Sometimes we get so caught up in attending all the workshops, we forget to take time to have fun. So miss a few workshops and enjoy hanging with your friends and have some fun.


If you attended the Slam, what did you learn, please share your experiences.

10 Things Learned At Romance Slam Jam 2012 - Part 1

1. Checklist should include everything you need for trip 

I’m one of those people who need lists to get things done. I always make a trip check list to make sure I have everything I need for the trip. Since most of my trips are personal, I didn’t realize I was leaving vital information off my checklist (promotional items for SORMAG).

This was a working trip and I forgot all my promotional items on my table in the hallway. I’d planned on putting them in the side pocket of my luggage. Never happen, so I will be updating the checklist for future work trips.


2. Roommates can make or break a conference.   I have been blessed to have some great roommates when I attend Romance Slam Jam. This year was no different. The two ladies I bunked with were the perfect roommates. One – Eboni (Kiana Alexander) and I have been roommates before and Kathy ( Regina Bryant) a new roomie for us both. We were like best friends in the room. We didn’t drive each other crazy and we even shared clothes.

Make sure you have the right roommate when you schedule a conference or you could have the roommate from hell who snores like a freight train.

 3. Pick the workshops you want to attend the night before.

The last thing you want to do is run around looking for your class only to find out its full because you weren’t ready the next day.

Also going over the schedule will let you know what workshops have changed or what workshops have been added.

4. Be a prepared presenter 

Always be professional when you are being a presenter. Have your notes ready. Have your presentation ready. Don’t wing it; believe me it will show and the last thing you want is to lose your audience because you’re not ready.

If you have notes and no copies, offer to send copies to those in attendance. This is also a great way to add those in attendance to your mailing list.

5. Have a way to stay in contact with those you meet. 

If you’re a presenter, have a notebook/journal or sheet of paper to capture those in attendance of your workshop. Let them know you will add them to your mailing list if they give you their name and email.

I met a few writers who didn’t think about this small but important part about coming to a conference, networking with those in attendance and building relationships.

If you attended the Slam, what did you learn, please share your experiences.

Do you have a mailing list?

I attended the Romance Slam Jam in Little Rock Arkansas last week, talking about a fun time. I will have to give a review later.

Today I want to talk to the writers.  I hosted a workshop at the Slam and during the workshop I asked the question, do you have a mailing list?

Many of the writers didn’t.  They said it was too time consuming.  I agree it is very time consuming if you’re doing it all yourself. 

As a writer your main goal is to reach new readers.  You also want to keep those readers in what I call your community.  Having a Facebook page and twitter account is great for networking, but you want those readers to join your community.

1. Your community is your own.  FB and Twitter belong to someone else.  If they crash tomorrow, do you have anyway to contact those friends or followers?

2. You want to know how many you have in your community.  This is a good selling point if you’re going the traditional publishing route.  You can tell them you have 5000 readers in your database vs none.

3. If you’re doing any traveling you can use your community as starting point.  If you have a lot of readers in a certain section of the country.  You might want to visit them and you can contact them and let them know you’ll be in their town.

4. You always have someone to tell about your latest book.  You don’t have to recreate the wheel every time you release a book.  You can start with your community and they can help spread the word.

5. Your community are the people interested in you and your books.  You don’t have to worry about spamming those who aren’t.  This is an opt in group and they want to be on your list.

There are different ways to start your community.  I recommend having your own spreadsheet of readers and having an online database.

I use Constant Contact however there are many more that offer their services.  Do a google search and find the one that fits into your budget. 

Yes it is time consuming, but once you have it in place you can send new readers there to join and not have to worry about it.

Lessons Learned

Last year I attended two conferences that I learned a lot from.  I wanted to share with you what I learned, but life got in the way of me writing the posts.  The information I learned is something that is still informative now, so over the next few days I will be posting what I learned from each conference.

THE BUSINESS JOURNAL: The SistaSense Power Circle Webinar Series / TeleSummit for Web Women Entrepreneurs

I’m so looking forward to attending this telesummit today.  Its an all day event.  I learned so much from last years MP3s.  I didn’t attend last year, and refuse to miss this one.

If you’re a business woman online, I highly recommend you learn about Lashanda Henry.  This woman is dynamic.  I’ve learned so much about taking SORMAG to the next level from her and her products.

Pick up the MP3 for this summit.