WRITING JOURNEY: FINISHING YOUR GOALS

One of my biggest issues is finishing. I get all excited about a project then something else comes up and I'm off on that one. This month I decided I wanted to finish then move on to the next project.

I’m currently working on a manuscript and I’m doing the final read through before I hand it over to my beta reader. I’ve let everything get in front of it and before I knew it, January was over and I’m now into February.

The other day I read a post from Michael Hyatt who wrote about prioritizing your to do list. He offers some good advice that I used last week and it really helped me see what I need to do first and what I could work on later.

First you write down your to do list, then you go down the list and mark it with the following.

A – Urgent and Important
B – Important Not Urgent
C- Urgent not Important
D – Not urgent or important

This helped me a lot to see where I was messing around with and what I seriously needed to tackle. I thought I’d share it with you.

Do you have a system that works for you on completing your goals for the day?

Dealing With Grief Part 4

Grief Never Ends

Did you know there is no deadline on grief?  Yes it will get a little easier each day, but from everyone I’ve talked to, the grief is still there, five, ten, twenty even fifty years later.

It kind of makes me feel ok to know that my grief is fine.  Some days I get out of bed and I’m fine.  I think a happy thought about my mother and I keep on stepping.  Today wasn’t one of those days.  I got in the car and I thought about her and the tears began to flow.  I welcomed them because I hadn’t cried in a few weeks.  I thought I was doing good. 

I missed her today.  I wanted to call her up and hear her voice.  I think that’s the hardest part about her being gone.  When I was in the Navy my first time away from home, I would save up my money so I could call home.  I was in Guam before cell phones.  You had to pay for long distance calls.  I couldn’t wait until Saturday morning when I’d call home and hear my mama’s voice.  Then I’d know everything would be alright.

There’s just something about your mother’s voice to let you know, life isn’t so bad.  I miss that tone.  I miss our catching up with each other.  I miss our sharing gossip and her telling me what she bought on QVC.

I know it will get a little easier, but I still miss our conversations.

It’s Ok to feel like this some days.  It took me a minute to realize this.  I wanted to get over these feelings and move on.  That’s how I handle things.  I don’t let stuff keep me down.  I try to stay positive. 

Grief isn’t like that.  You can remain positive, but you also have to deal with the grief.  You have to let it out or it will consume you. You’ll find yourself on the couch and never moving.

No it doesn’t end, but you can live with it.  I do it everyday and I will continue to do it because I loved my mother and I know she’d want me to continue enjoying my life.  So today I’m going to think happy thoughts and get through my grief.

What do you miss about your love ones?

I did a series on grief.  If you’re going through it right now please read.  I hope it gives you some comfort.

http://lashaunda.blogspot.com/2012/02/dealing-with-grief.html

THE BUSINESS JOURNEY: What’s In A Name?

When I decided to discuss my business journey I wanted to share my mistakes as well as my successes.  One of my mistakes when I started SORMAG was not having a vision.  I talked about that in a previous post. 

I never dreamed SORMAG would be online for 12 years.  I figured it would be a fun project.  I never dreamed I would make money from it or go past the first year.

If I’d known about vision I would have known to look beyond what I see right now and think about the next five – ten years.

Had I known I’d still be here. I wouldn’t have named the magazine Shades of Romance.  When I started I was about promoting multi-cultural romances.  Many of the writers I promoted moved on to writing mainstream fiction which meant I began to promote mainstream fiction.

I will admit I tried to change the name to Shades Of Reading, but my readers refuse to adopt the name, as a matter of fact, they stopped calling it Shades Of Romance and started calling it SORMAG to my disbelief.  I wanted to use the acronym SORM but sometimes you have to listen to your readers. 

My advice to you:

·         Give the name of your business serious thought.

·         Is this the  name you see for your business 5 – 10 years from now?

·         Is this the name your business can have as it advances in the future?

·         Is this the name your customers will use?

The name of your business is important and it should be created after much consideration.

My last bit of advice, if you plan on being online; make sure you secure your domain name before someone else does.  If you have a long name, like Shades Of Romance, use the acronym – sormag.com

When I created SORMAG someone had shadesofromance.com so I had to come up with something else. Thankfully sormag.com was available and was a lot easier to remember than shadesofromance.com.  Sometimes mistakes work out for the best.

What’s the name of your business?

THE FAMILY JOURNEY: Squirrel Invasion

This weekend we had a visit from a squirrel.  He came in and decided he didn’t want to leave.  Of course we didn’t want the uninvited guest.  We tried to drown him by placing a bucket of water underneath the hole he created in our ceiling.  However he outwitted us and came down without dropping into the water.

We cornered him in the kitchen and thought if we opened the side door, he’d run out.  Oh no, not this crazy squirrel, he runs into the front room and hides behind the bookcase.  We finally get him back in the kitchen.  We open the kitchen door and the side door, thinking this time we got him, he’ll run outside.  The kids and I are ready to get him out.  We get him to run and we think he’s run out the side door.  We go outside and there’s a squirrel in the front tree.  We think it’s him.  We cheer, yeah! Thinking we got him out the house.

Two hours later, my daughter, says, “I think the squirrel is still here.” Sure enough he’s behind the bookcase again.  By this time the hubby is up and he’s ready to get the squirrel OUT.  This time we get out the leaf blower and we open the side and back door and we’re ready.  I get the squirrel to run toward the kitchen, but this time he hides in the hallway, refusing to move.

The kids close off the front room with a blanket and I poke at the squirrel with a stick to get him moving.  The hubby uses the leaf blower to blow him toward the side door and finally we’re able to get the crazy squirrel out of our house.  You’d thought we’d won the super bowl the way were yelling and cheering.

We’re praying that’s the last squirrel we have to deal with in our home.

Have you ever been invaded by an outside animal?

THE FAMILY JOURNEY: Meal Planning

I’m not great at meal planning.  It is probably one of the things I hate doing as a mom.  Not because I don’t like to cook, but because I have four picky eaters and it’s hard to try something new with them.

I like trying out new things, unfortunately I live with four other people who aren’t into new.  They want the same thing, which drives me crazy.

This week I’m taking a meal planning challenge.  You can join me if you like.

What are you going to Eat & Meal Planning Calendar Kathi Lipp

www.kathilipp.com

Here’s My menu for this week.

Monday – Spaghetti

Tuesday – Crock Pot barbeque chicken, macaroni and cheese, green beans

Wednesday – Taco

Thursday – breakfast food

Friday – Tilapia, fried potatoes, corn

Do you plan your menu for the week or month?  Can you offer me some tips for picky eaters?

THE BUSINESS JOURNEY - Vision

January is usually the month new businesses get started.  I thought I shared a few tips with those interested in starting their own business.

When I started SORMAG I honestly didn’t think of it as a business.  It was my way to say thanks to the many authors I enjoyed.  I thought it would be something fun to do for a little while.  I never dreamed it would grow into something wonderful or that I could make money from it.

So I’ll begin with my first tip:

VISION

Before you began your business, have a vision for what you want, what you want to achieve and what you want to do with your business.

This is very important because if you plan on being in this for the long haul you need to know where you’re going.

As I admitted before I didn’t have a clue where I wanted to take SORMAG, I just winged it.  Something I don’t think anyone should do going in.  Its hard not knowing where you want to go or what you want to do with your business if you don’t have a vision.

I highly recommend you dream big.  Imagine the wildest and make it happen.  I’m learning to let my imagination flow because I want only the best for SORMAG.

Here a few links to help you with your vision statement:

http://sbinfocanada.about.com/od/businessplanning/a/writevision.htm

http://internetindependence.com/your-vision

Are you thinking about starting a business this year?  Do you have a business, tell us about it?

P.S.  I wanted to share a link to a conference I've been attending this week.  Some excellent advice about driving your business.  It ends Monday, but there is still time to check out what you missed - www.SolopreneurSurvivalSummit.com.

Me Journey - Reading goals for 2012

Since I received my kindle last year, I’ve downloaded tons of books but I haven’t had a chance to read them.

This year I want to make a dent in those books.

Last year I started a Kindle Bookclub.  We pick a different book to read on the kindle.  This year I moved the books up to two because some of the members love to read, so two books are nothing to them.

I would like to read two fiction books a month and one non fiction.  Most of the non-fiction will probably be writing related.

I’m sure if possible I’ll read more but that’s the goal I’m working with this year.

What’s your reading goal for the year?

Natural Hair Journey - Know What Type Of Hair You Have

My first mistake was thinking I would get a curly look like the curl I use to wear in the 80/90s.  I wanted those Shirley temple curls flowing down my back.  If I’d thought back to when my mother use to press and curl my hair, there was never any Shirley Temple curls to begin with.  Why did it take me two years to realize this.  OK I wanted to live in lala with my curly Qs in hair.

Learning the type of hair I have really made me understand it more.  I’m a type 4 which means for me to get the curls I want I have to manipulate my hair.  I have to twist/braid it or pin it to get waves or curls.

I’m ok with that because I now know I will never have the Shirley Temple look naturally but I can achieve it with rods and a long wait und the hair dryer.

Four years later I’m still learning my hair, but I’m not fighting it like I use to.  Now I listen to what my hair needs.  It tells me when its too dry. My scalp is super itchy.  It tells me when it needs moisture it looks dull. 

I still have my bad hair good hair days.  I know with hair you will always have those days.  However I’m learning to deal more with the bad hair days.  Those are the days I rock those cute earrings, so I can feel cute with my ugly hair.

Do you know your hair type?  Here's a link if you don't.

The Writing Journey - Is It Ever Finished

On one my writing groups the question was asked When do you know when it is finished?

I have to admit, this was my problem for years. I didn’t know when the manuscript was finished.  I’d re-edit and re-edit.

I learned that my fear of rejection kept me from sending it out, so I never could find out if it was finished or if it was on its way to finish.

Now I’m moving forward and giving myself deadlines, which helped me a lot.  I’ve wrote other books instead of just working on one book for years.  I didn’t want to be a one book writer.

I’ve learned that the book is never finished, there is always room for improvement, however you have to let go.  Let someone else read it, take in their suggestions and then send it out.

When do you know your book is finished?

The Writing Journey – FINISHED MY GOAL

I completed my 2011 writing goal January 6^th.   I wanted to finish editing my manuscript so I could send it to a beta reader.  My goal for December was to finish the read thru.  A week later I was done and pleased with the story.  I saw few things I wanted to correct, but over all I thought it turned out to be a good story.  Here’s hoping the reader feels the same way.

Natural Hair Journey - Stick To Your Budget

If you’re thinking about going natural because you think it’s inexpensive, think again.

When I started this journey, I figured I would drop the stylist bill off my monthly budget.  NOT.  I still go to a stylist every now and then. 

I was like everyone else when I started this journey, a product junkie trying to figure out what works in my hair and what didn’t.

I was trying every product my friends or natural websites suggested.  I went from the most expensive to the least expensive.  I had stuff I used one time because it made my hair hard.  I don’t like the hard hair.

I paid for stuff that promised wavy curls and all I got was goopy hair.  I know I came off a few hundreds before I realized that I needed to listen to my hair and not what others said.

This year I've decided to share more about my natural hair journey in hope I can ease your pain if you're trying this new path and hopefully be an encourager in your journey.

My advice for anyone going natural before you start trying every product, listen to your hair. 

1. Know what type of hair you have.

2. Know what you want your hair to do.

3. Know what your hair looks like happy.

Each Monday I will talk about my journey.  Stop by and share with me.


Did you stick to your budget or go overboard like me?

Favorite Books For 2011

I enjoyed a lot of books this year, so it was really hard to narrow them down to my top ten.  I decided to go with the ones that I talked about the most and stayed in my head the longest.  To me that’s what make a good book, you’re thinking about the characters later.   Most of these aren’t Christian fiction just in case you’re wondering.  I read all over. They are also are not in any type of order.

Something Old, Something New by Beverly Jenkins

Wading Home by Rosalyn Story

Night Hawk by Beverly Jenkins

Zen Cooper Woman – Child Ghetto Genius by Angelia Vernon Menchan

Wench by Dolen Perkins-Valdez

Delilah by Shelia Goss

A Good Excuse To Be Bad by Miranda Parker

Heart Revealed, A: A Novel (Winds of Change) by Julie Lessman

The Resurrection of Nat Turner, Part 1: The Witnesses: A Novel by Sharon Ewell Foster

Never Dead by Jumata Emill Jones

Revisiting Goals For 2011

At this time of the year I try to revisit my goals for the year. I had high hopes for this year. I had a book I was working on and two books I wanted to complete. I thought I would be attending the ACFW writer conference for the first time, and presenting at conference.

It’s good to have goals because you have some sort of road map to move you forward.

Life was wild this year, but I did a lot more writing than I expected. I did two challenges this year. One was the Bible in 90 days and A Novel in 30 days. Both pushed me to my highest limits. I finished one and didn't finish the other.

I'm glad I did both challenges. I always wanted to read the whole bible but I would get half way through and stop. This challenge let me read small chunks of the bible until I finished it. I will admit it was a hard challenge because it made me realize that I needed to make time for my bible reading, something I had a hard time doing. I'm still working on it, but I'm getting better at it.

The Novel in 30 days was an amazing challenge because I honestly didn't think I could write 50,000 words in 30 days. I'd never committed myself to writing that much or on a daily basis. I usually write when the muse hits. I have that luxury because I don't have a deadline hanging over my head.

I finished the challenge with 35,000 words to add to my WIP which was fantastic because I was on my way to completing one of my goals for the year.

Before I started this post I went in search of my goals post and realized I didn’t write one for this year. I did write my goals in my journal I keep.

2011 GOALS

Complete Purple Kids
Final edit Trust/Wait
Blog (2 times a Week)
Column (2 times a month)
Attend the ACFW Conference
Attend the Write The Plan Conference

I believe I completed Purple Kids when I finished the Novel in 30 days challenge. I’m still working on the edits for Wait and Trust but I believe they will be done by the end of the year.

I didn’t write in my blog the way I wanted but I’m getting better at it. I learned that I need to pick a day and write my posts instead of just writing when I feel like it. I found Sunday evening works for me, so I’ll use that day in the future.

I completed my column goal which helped me create what I hope will turn into an eBook, How to create an online marketing plan.

I didn’t attend either conferences, one due to my budget and the other one was cancelled. However I did attend two amazing conferences. The Fall Into Literacy conference held here in St. Louis in September. I learned so much and look forward to next year’s conference. I might even present a workshop. Need to come up with an idea.

I also attended the Show Me The Blog –Social Media and Blogging conference in October. It also was held in St. Louis. I learned a lot about blogging and I will be attending this conference again next year. I definitely will be getting my ideas together for this to be one of its presenters.

I do believe this year my writing started on a new path. Now that I’m able to see the vision for my writing, I’m no longer stumbling on my path. I have a course I’ve set for myself and I look forward to seeing what’s down this new path.

Did you complete your goals for 2011?

Lessons Learned This Year – 2011

You Don’t Have To Be Alone

I started the critique group last year and we continued this year.  I looked forward to our monthly meetings.  Sharing our writing, writing successes and failures helped me a lot.  I also found a community online when I attended an online writing course.  We posted daily our writing goals and encouraged one another.

I also have a new writing mentor, Dr. Linda Beed, who has been a blessing to me spiritually and mentally on this writing journey.  Her weekly encouragements have helped me to complete my editing.

Writing On Schedule

The Novel in 30 days taught me about writing on a schedule and knowing how much I can write if I have to.  When I set a scheduled time, I write and don’t let anything interrupt me.  I found that I can write for an hour and write about 1500 words.  That’s not bad for an hour.

Know Your Budget

I was excited to know the ACFW conference was coming to St. Louis and I really wanted to attend.  However when the date started to get closer and I had to make a decision.  I had to sit down and look at my budget and think about if attending the conference was a good idea.  I hated to admit it, but at the time it wasn’t.  My budget had taken a major hit with my mother’s death and other family emergencies, I had to let that goal go.

I learned that when I’m planning my schedule for next year to look at the costs of each event. What will I get out each event and to also look locally.  I was able to attend two conferences this year and the prices were very reasonable. I was able to do a lot of networking, which was worth the admission.

I also attended an online writing course on plotting and character building.  I learned so much in that course, it helped me be prepared to accept the challenge of the Novel in a Month.  This was a free course and I hope next year to find a few more courses to attend.

You’re Never Prepared For Death

I started the year out with a mother and I’m finding it very hard to know I will end this year without my mother.  I don’t care how sick someone is, you’re never ready for them to die.  It is probably the hardest thing you have to handle in your life time.  I can honestly say after my mother died, I think I went into a cocoon.  I was living on the outside but inside I was growing in ways I never knew I could.  Her death taught me not to take life for granted and to stop talking about what you want to do and do it.  My mother use to tell me that all the time, but I wasn’t willing to come out of my comfort zone.  My biggest regret is that she’ll never see my published books.  I know it will happen mainly because of her loyal support.  She saw my books before I did.  So in her honor I will make sure I get to see them too.

I also lost a writer friend this year, Leslie Esdaile or L.A. Banks.  I was still grieving over my mother when I learned of her death.  It hit me hard too.  She was an amazing writer who supported SORMAG since day one.  She is the reason we were mentioned in Essence Magazine.  It hurts my heart to know she will no longer grace the earth.  However her legacy to me is to follow your dream and write your butt off.  Leslie wrote in different genres and she made it work.  She inspired me to branch off into something new.  I’m so glad I did.  I am truly blessed to have known Leslie.

These are a few of my lessons I’ve learned over the year.  If you’ve been reading my blog you’ve seen a few more.  If this is your first visit, take a moment to read some older posts. I shared a few other lessons.

What lessons have you learned this year?

Seeing the Vision

I wrote my first book at the age of 16.  I wanted to be the Black Jackie Collins.  I didn’t have a clue.  I dreamed of being a best selling author, but asking me how many people read my book?  My mother and her bestfriend, who took my hand written story and typed it up.  She couldn’t believe a 16 year old could write a hot romance.  What did I know about love.

I worked on that book for years.  Then I joined the Navy and created another story that I worked on for years.  I began to learn the craft and I submitted my story but at the time they weren’t taking African-American stories, so I continued to work on it.

As I look back over the years of my writing, I realized that I never had the real vision of a published book.  It was cool to say I was writing, but I wasn’t submitting, so there was no hope of seeing it published.

I think I’ve talked about fear a lot here and how I’ve let it take over me.  In October I attended a blogging conference and I will say it opened my eyes to a lot of things.  I had a discussion with someone and we discussed seeing the vision.

For the first time I could see my vision with my writing.  I know where I want to go with my writing and I know what genres I want to write.  I can see the books with my name on them and I can see the readers taking them off the shelves to purchase.

I like knowing where I’m going.  Believe me being out there not having a vision is hard path to go.  I don’t recommend it for anyone.  Take time in 2012 to see what your vision is for your writing.

Do you have a vision for your writing?

How To Have A Successful NANOWRIMO

Do you plan on participating in the NANOWRIMO for 2012? I’d like to offer a few tips to help you have a successful NANOWRIMO.


SET REALISTIC DAILY WORD COUNT - If you write 1500 words a day don’t set a 3000 word goal and stress yourself out trying to reach it. All you’ll end up doing is shutting down and not completing your goal.

PLOT OUT YOUR BOOK – I recommend you do this before you start the NANOWRIMO, maybe a month before. It’s nice to know where your story is going and you won't get stuck trying to figure out your plot as you write.

LISTEN TO YOUR CHARACTERS – I plotted out the story, but my characters decided to go a different way. Instead of trying to stay true to the plot, I let the words flow and was surprised by how the story developed. Sometimes the characters know best.

LIFE HAPPENS – Life still goes on as you write, so be prepared for emergencies or happy events. If you have the time, write extra words, because there will be some days you might not feel like writing or something happens that prevents you from writing. You’ll have those extra words to help move you forward and you won’t be so behind on your writing goal.

HAVE FUN – If you’re not enjoying the writing, you won’t meet your goals. It will feel like you’re forcing yourself to write. This won’t help your story and you’ll probably end up dropping out. Have fun with it; let your imagination go free.

REWARD YOURSELF - One of the things I looked forward to was my reward for my commitment.  I had two rewards for myself. One if I completed the 50,000 and one if I finished the 30 days.  I saved a copy of Night Hawk by Beverly Jenkins as my reward for staying the course of the NANO.  The 50,000 reward will be saved for another goal.

These are just a few tips I learned in my journey last month.   Hopefully they will help you on your journey.

Please share what you learned or share a recommendation to help others make their 2012 goals.

I DID NOT WIN - NANOWRIMO 2011

I signed up for the NANOWRIMO in hope of adding more words to my young adult WIP. If I made the 50,000 goal that would be fantastic, but I wanted to commit myself to writing everyday.

No I didn’t win this year, I finished with 35,000 words. I’m excited about those words, because it moved my story from 26,000 to 61,000 words. I think that’s great.

I want to share a few things I learned last month.

LIFE DOESN”T STOP - If you expect this, do not sign up for NANOWRIMO. Life doesn’t stop. Sometimes it throws you a few curve balls. Mine were a few tough ones. My God son was shot and was in intensive care (he is still in intensive care) my grandmother died. Yes some serious stuff.  I honestly had a few days that I didn’t want to look at the computer screen or think about my story. I felt bad about this but I realized you can’t force the muse.

WRITE EVERYDAY – Even if you write a 100 words, you’ve added to your goal. I tried to write something everyday even on the bad days I found myself writing something. I might not have met my daily goal, but I wrote something.

DON'T BEAT YOURSELF UP – The goal of NANOWRIMO is to write. If you don’t write everyday this might seem foreign to you, but you have to get out of your comfort zone and write. Don’t worry about if the words are perfect or make sense, write. Don’t beat yourself up if you don’t make your goal move forward to the next day and write. You might surprise yourself and exceed your goal.

WEEKENDS ARE HARD – I found the weekends were my hardest time to write because I normally wrote on my lunch break and at night. On the weekends, life takes over and it was so hard to get time to myself to write. Sometimes I could get up early and write, but with a teenager in the house, that was rare.

MOTIVATION – I highly recommend joining a group or do NANOWRIMO with a friend you can check in with daily.  This so helped me to stay motivated and not give up. I loved reading how well they were doing in reaching their goals. It helped motivate me to continue writing.

I want to say that I’m glad I did NANOWRIMO this year.  It helped motivate me to finish the story I was working on.  It introduced me to some amazing writers who I look forward to reading their books one day.  It showed me that I can commit to this writing and reach my goals. 

Stop by Thursday and I will share my recommendations for a successful NANOWRIMO.

Did you WIN this year? Share your experiences in NANOWRIMO.

NANOWRIMO - Week 3

This is week 3 and I'm moving right along with my writing. Last week was a little rough, because I didn’t know where to go with the story. One of my writing buddies, suggested I needed to resolve the story. She was right.  I’m at the last arc of the story and it’s time to find out what happens with the characters. Do they meet their goals?  Do they learn from their journey?

I can say that these last couple of days have been rough. I’m not use to writing everyday, but I’m making myself do something even if its just 200 words its better than nothing at all.

One of my goals for 2012 is to write 100 words a day.

How is your NANO going?

Natural Hair Journey - First Hair Meet Up

I experienced my first hair meet up.  It was hosted at a shop called Twist in the Cherokee shopping area.

There were four ladies who showed up to learn about natural hair.  I host, Kelly was warm and welcoming.  She asked for a volunteer to show us how to do flat twists.  One of the ladies voluteered and she started the process by washing her hair.  She used a conditioner and oil to wash her hair with.

She blow dried her hair and began the flat twists.  While doing all this she explained different techniques and answered our questions about natural hair.

It was a fun time hanging with other women who shared their experiences of going natural.  We all had different reasons and difference grades of hair.  One young lady had locs and shared her experiences with them.

I'm looking forward to our next meet up.

Have you been to a natural hair meet up? 

P.S. Have you ever heard of a site called Meet Up?  This is a great place to learn about local groups in your area.  This is where I found my natural meet up.

Natural Hair Journey - Straight Hair

I haven't talked about my hair journey lately, so I thought I'd catch you up on what's been going on.

The gray has been driving me crazy and I was coloring my hair too much, that I ended up damage it.  I decided to let my hair heal before I try the color again.

I went to my daughter's stylist to let her do the color instead of myself.  She put the color in and trimmed my ends which were in dire need.  She suggested I blow dry it out and let her trim the ends.  I wanted to see what my hair looked like straight, so I let her blow dry it and press it out.

I loved the look, reminded me of my perm days.  I didn't think about taking pictures or I would have some to share.  I know for next time.

I've decided that for the winter I would wear my hair straight for two weeks and curly for two weeks.

I found out that I've grown lazy when it comes to my hair.  When your hair is straight you have to curl it each morning.  I wasn't use to that type of work.  I loved how pretty it looked, but hated getting up early to do it.

This natural hair is a learning process. 

What have you tried new with your hair?