Tuesday, July 26, 2011


The month of June was a rollercoaster ride.  I started it with my mother being admitted into the hospital and hosting an online book fair.  I did not know it would be one of the hardest months of my life.

My mother was having problems breathing and the doctors put her on a ventilator.  Instead of coming out of the sedation they put her under, she went deeper under.  Since we had been here before, my sisters and I waited patiently for our mother to come back to her normal self.

While this was going on, life continued.  I was government worker, turned mother and wife and on the weekends I was hosting the online book fair.  Now why didn’t I cancel you wonder?  My sanity.  I needed to appear normal or I would have fallen apart.

It was hard seeing my mother all hooked up to these many tubes and her eyes closed in the ICU room.  I felt like a helpless child.  All I could do was call out to the Lord, which I did many times during this time.

Working kept me going and motivated to know each day was a new one and something good could happen.  I knew God had this, so I had to continue with my life and let him stay in control.  If I took control I would fall apart and I couldn’t do that.

My mother died on June 16th.  I know it might sound strange, but I believe she came to me in my dreams and told me we would be ok. 

The really hard part started then, but we made it through.  I know for sure my relationship with God blossomed during this time.  He was my father, my friend, my shoulder to lend on and my rock when I couldn’t go any farther.  He helped me through the pain.

How do you get through the pain?

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