Monday, July 23, 2012

The Next Grief - Part 5

On July 6th my second oldest sister was hit by a car and died. I couldn’t believe it. I was back where I was a year ago in the grips of grief. This time I told myself I was not going to let the pain engulf me. I numbed myself to it. I don’t recommend this because it just builds up for a crash.

I crashed the next day after the funeral, my whole being felt like someone had run me over.

It’s better to grieve than to try to not to. I had experienced that type of pain of losing someone and I didn’t want to feel it again. However with grief you don’t have a choice. The pain is there and it’s not going to go away.

I did learn that I can get through the pain, so that helped a lot knowing the days will get better. Yes I will miss my sister and I will cry some days and somedays I will wonder how I will make it with out her. This time I know I can. I can get up everyday and thank God for another day. I can thank him for having a sister and I can thank him for the time we shared together. I know her spirit lives on in us, her children and her grandchildren.

I don’t think I would be able to be at peace with her death if I hadn’t experienced my mother’s death last year. Those 365 days helped heal me, mold me to be a compassionate person and show me that I’m a lot stronger than I thought. Even though my mother and sister are no longer here with me, the love I had for them will forever live in my heart.

Grief is a longtime learning experience. Each day you learn something new.

I did a series on grief. If you’re going through it right now please read. I hope it gives you some comfort.