See Ya On The Net: Dealing With Grief Series

Showing posts with label Dealing With Grief Series. Show all posts

Monday, July 23, 2012

The Next Grief - Part 5

On July 6th my second oldest sister was hit by a car and died. I couldn’t believe it. I was back where I was a year ago in the grips of grief. This time I told myself I was not going to let the pain engulf me. I numbed myself to it. I don’t recommend this because it just builds up for a crash.

I crashed the next day after the funeral, my whole being felt like someone had run me over.

It’s better to grieve than to try to not to. I had experienced that type of pain of losing someone and I didn’t want to feel it again. However with grief you don’t have a choice. The pain is there and it’s not going to go away.

I did learn that I can get through the pain, so that helped a lot knowing the days will get better. Yes I will miss my sister and I will cry some days and somedays I will wonder how I will make it with out her. This time I know I can. I can get up everyday and thank God for another day. I can thank him for having a sister and I can thank him for the time we shared together. I know her spirit lives on in us, her children and her grandchildren.

I don’t think I would be able to be at peace with her death if I hadn’t experienced my mother’s death last year. Those 365 days helped heal me, mold me to be a compassionate person and show me that I’m a lot stronger than I thought. Even though my mother and sister are no longer here with me, the love I had for them will forever live in my heart.

Grief is a longtime learning experience. Each day you learn something new.

I did a series on grief. If you’re going through it right now please read. I hope it gives you some comfort.

http://lashaunda.blogspot.com/2012/02/dealing-with-grief.html

Wednesday, February 08, 2012

Dealing With Grief Part 4

Grief Never Ends

Did you know there is no deadline on grief? Yes it will get a little easier each day, but from everyone I’ve talked to, the grief is still there, five, ten, twenty even fifty years later.

It kind of makes me feel ok to know that my grief is fine. Some days I get out of bed and I’m fine. I think a happy thought about my mother and I keep on stepping. Today wasn’t one of those days. I got in the car and I thought about her and the tears began to flow. I welcomed them because I hadn’t cried in a few weeks. I thought I was doing good.

I missed her today. I wanted to call her up and hear her voice. I think that’s the hardest part about her being gone. When I was in the Navy my first time away from home, I would save up my money so I could call home. I was in Guam before cell phones. You had to pay for long distance calls. I couldn’t wait until Saturday morning when I’d call home and hear my mama’s voice. Then I’d know everything would be alright.

There’s just something about your mother’s voice to let you know, life isn’t so bad. I miss that tone. I miss our catching up with each other. I miss our sharing gossip and her telling me what she bought on QVC.

I know it will get a little easier, but I still miss our conversations.

It’s Ok to feel like this some days. It took me a minute to realize this. I wanted to get over these feelings and move on. That’s how I handle things. I don’t let stuff keep me down. I try to stay positive.

Grief isn’t like that. You can remain positive, but you also have to deal with the grief. You have to let it out or it will consume you. You’ll find yourself on the couch and never moving.

No it doesn’t end, but you can live with it. I do it everyday and I will continue to do it because I loved my mother and I know she’d want me to continue enjoying my life. So today I’m going to think happy thoughts and get through my grief.

What do you miss about your love ones?

I did a series on grief. If you’re going through it right now please read. I hope it gives you some comfort.

http://lashaunda.blogspot.com/2012/02/dealing-with-grief.html