I’ve decided to start the New Year with two challenges, an exercise challenge and a personal challenge. I decided to do both because I wanted to change some of my habits this year. I needed a little exercise in my life and I thought the squat challenge would be the way to start without feeling overwhelmed.
As you know 2012 was a rough year for me so I signed up for the Starting Over Challenge to see if I could get my mind back on track. I didn’t know what to expect from this challenge, but I was willing to learn.
We had our first phone call and I realized I was starting on a new journey with this challenge. One of our assignments was to write out a statement.
I want to lose ----- to gain ----
I didn’t do the assignment because I didn’t know what I wanted to lose or gain. As I read over the groups posts I realized I wasn’t ready to face what I wanted to lose or gain. For every other post, someone was ready to lose FEAR. You know my history with that word. I wasn’t ready to admit that was my issue too.
After the call, I was ready to admit, that I’d let that word creep back into my soul last year. It popped up when I received the yes for my historical. It slowly took over me as I read over the story. You’re not ready it kept whispering to me. No one will like this story. No one will buy this book. I slowly let the words, stop me from moving forward. I didn’t want to admit to myself that I was scared, instead I told myself the book wasn’t ready. I missed my own deadline and almost convinced myself that I wasn’t going to submit it. Thank God for writing friends, who refuse to let me wallow in my fear. They kept questioning me on my progress. I didn’t want to say I wasn’t doing anything, so I kept pressing pass the fear. I finally submitted it to a reader and I beat the fear.
This morning I decided I was ready to admit what I was ready to lose.
I want to lose FEAR to gain SUCCESS IN WHAT EVER I WANT TO ACHIEVE.
I’m ready for the New Year and these new challenges. I’m also ready to move pass my fear. I know it will always pop up in my life, but I also know it is a symptom, that I have to learn how to treat.
What new challenges are you trying this year?