Thursday, January 03, 2013


I’ve decided to start the New Year with two challenges, an exercise challenge and a personal challenge.  I decided to do both because I wanted to change some of my habits this year.  I needed a little exercise in my life and I thought the squat challenge would be the way to start without feeling overwhelmed.

As you know 2012 was a rough year for me so I signed up for the Starting Over Challenge to see if I could get my mind back on track.  I didn’t know what to expect from this challenge, but I was willing to learn.
We had our first phone call and I realized I was starting on a new journey with this challenge.  One of our assignments was to write out a statement.

I want to lose ----- to gain ----

I didn’t do the assignment because I didn’t know what I wanted to lose or gain.  As I read over the groups posts I realized I wasn’t ready to face what I wanted to lose or gain.  For every other post, someone was ready to lose FEAR.  You know my history with that word.  I wasn’t ready to admit that was my issue too.

After the call, I was ready to admit, that I’d let that word creep back into my soul last year.  It popped up when I received the yes for my historical.  It slowly took over me as I read over the story.  You’re not ready it kept whispering to me.  No one will like this story.  No one will buy this book.  I slowly let the words, stop me from moving forward.  I didn’t want to admit to myself that I was scared, instead I told myself the book wasn’t ready.  I missed my own deadline and almost convinced myself that I wasn’t going to submit it.  Thank God for writing friends, who refuse to let me wallow in my fear.  They kept questioning me on my progress.  I didn’t want to say I wasn’t doing anything, so I kept pressing pass the fear.  I finally submitted it to a reader and I beat the fear.

This morning I decided I was ready to admit what I was ready to lose.


I’m ready for the New Year and these new challenges.  I’m also ready to move pass my fear.  I know it will always pop up in my life, but I also know it is a symptom, that I have to learn how to treat.

What new challenges are you trying this year?

No comments: