Wednesday, February 08, 2012

Dealing With Grief Part 4

Grief Never Ends

Did you know there is no deadline on grief?  Yes it will get a little easier each day, but from everyone I’ve talked to, the grief is still there, five, ten, twenty even fifty years later.

It kind of makes me feel ok to know that my grief is fine.  Some days I get out of bed and I’m fine.  I think a happy thought about my mother and I keep on stepping.  Today wasn’t one of those days.  I got in the car and I thought about her and the tears began to flow.  I welcomed them because I hadn’t cried in a few weeks.  I thought I was doing good. 

I missed her today.  I wanted to call her up and hear her voice.  I think that’s the hardest part about her being gone.  When I was in the Navy my first time away from home, I would save up my money so I could call home.  I was in Guam before cell phones.  You had to pay for long distance calls.  I couldn’t wait until Saturday morning when I’d call home and hear my mama’s voice.  Then I’d know everything would be alright.

There’s just something about your mother’s voice to let you know, life isn’t so bad.  I miss that tone.  I miss our catching up with each other.  I miss our sharing gossip and her telling me what she bought on QVC.

I know it will get a little easier, but I still miss our conversations.

It’s Ok to feel like this some days.  It took me a minute to realize this.  I wanted to get over these feelings and move on.  That’s how I handle things.  I don’t let stuff keep me down.  I try to stay positive. 

Grief isn’t like that.  You can remain positive, but you also have to deal with the grief.  You have to let it out or it will consume you. You’ll find yourself on the couch and never moving.

No it doesn’t end, but you can live with it.  I do it everyday and I will continue to do it because I loved my mother and I know she’d want me to continue enjoying my life.  So today I’m going to think happy thoughts and get through my grief.
What do you miss about your love ones?

I did a series on grief.  If you’re going through it right now please read.  I hope it gives you some comfort.

1 comment:

Rose said...

Thank you for sharing. Praying for you!